Why, Indiana?

According to this, a woman in indiana was recently thrown in prison for murder. What was the dasatardly deed she committed? She tried to commit suicide. She was imprisoned? Well, little fact. She was pregnant. Bei Bei Shuai tried to kill herself around Christmastime last year when her boyfriend and the father of her baby went back on all his promises. He had promised to marry her, had told her he was divorced, only to later reveal that he was still married and that he intended to go back to his family. In a moment of recklessness, she bought rat poison and took it (didn't work). Later on, while driving through a friend's neighborhood, she ran into a friend and her husband and confided in them about her suicide attempt. They took her to the hospital and she received medical care. Unfortunately, while she recovered, her daughter died a day after she was born. Shuai was extremely distraught by this and spent a month in the hospital, grieving. She ended up going back to her life, only to find out that doctors had notified the authorities and that she would be charged with murder. People would say, well, she's selfish, she tried to kill herself while she was pregnant! However, here's a problem. Most people who commit suicide are not in the right frame of mind when they do so. As evidenced by Shuai's reaction, she wasn't even thinking of her pregnancy when she made an impulsive decision to take rat poison. Further, she ultimately chose to accept help, to save her life and the child's and it was under a doctor's advice that she took her daughter off life support. So, if a pregnant woman attempts suicide but decides to change her mind, that's when she should be charged? Also, I wonder how many of those same people would say that she should have had an abortion or at least gave up her rights as a parent if she was going to attempt to do so. This also disturbs me because it makes the assumption that pregnant women do not have the same rights as others and should be punished harshly for behaviors that others would merely be judged for. For example, if a woman is addicted to drugs, she could be charged with child endangerment in some states, even if she told a doctor out of request for help. As many rehab centers don't accept pregnant women, her treatment options are already limited and withdrawal may in some cases be more dangerous for her and the baby. In other states, lawmakers are trying to make it mandatory for women to report miscarriages to the cops, regardless of the fact that doctors themselves don't even know what causes them. These laws don't ultimately protect unborn children. What they do instead is to deter pregnant women from seeking medical treatment if they fear arrest. Women with drug problems won't seek treatment, women with suicidal tendencies may ultimately ending their own lives instead of seeking help, and women who lose their babies may not go to the hospital, even with complications. What these laws ultimately accomplish is turning pregnant women into second class citizens. As a result, both women and children pay the price.

St. Maria Goretti

*This may contain triggers for sexual assault survivors*

As a teenager coming into the faith, St. Maria Goretti was one of the first saints I heard about. I randomly caught a documentary about her on EWTN (for those who don't know, Eternal Word Television Network, aka Catholic TV). She was born a poor farm tenant's daughter in 1890 in Corinaldo, a town in central Italy. She grew up a devout Catholic girl and was known for her kindness and generosity. When she was not even twelve years old, a neighbor began harassing her until one day, he took her and attempted to rape her. She resisted him physically and, as a result, he stabbed her fourteen times. She died in the hospital, forgiving the man on her death bed. He later repented (after years in prison) and she was canonized a saint by the Catholic Church. She was canonized for "defending her purity".

I have a bit of a problem with that last bit.

I don't have a problem with St. Maria being a saint. I think such forgiveness, at any age, is something to be commended very highly. I also find that she showed courage in the face of huge adversity and worked hard to show a generous and loving soul, no matter what she faced. I believe it is important for young people to learn how to say no, to defend themselves in the face of attack, and, at the same time, to forgive the acts committed against them. However, I do have a problem with the Church using her as a defender of chastity.

You see, when the Church holds her up as a model of chastity (when she's barely even pubescent), it implies that Maria somehow wanted what was done. It implies that she was fighting, not a man trying to attack her, but her own sexual desires. It implies that she was somehow "asking for it." It implies that this violent act, had she submitted, would be "her fault."

It bothers me even more because she was still a child. She was not even twelve years old, may or may not have started her periods, may have just started liking boys, and she's considered a defender of purity? Even if it was his purity she was fighting for (and she did protest the act for the sake of his soul), why would that be her responsibility? As he was the adult in this picture, why shouldn't he be considered the defender of his own purity?

Further, are women who do submit (whether to save their lives or because they simply want it to end) somehow responsible for these crimes? Are children who choose not to fight an abusive adult somehow sinning? Are people who survive an ordeal such as this somehow "less" because they "allowed" someone to sin with them? What kind of message are we sending our Catholic youth, especially the young women?

I believe we should continue to hold Maria as a saint and role model. She is a model of forgiveness, of her willingness to stand for herself and could be considered as someone who stands with those who do suffer from these atrocities. However, to hold her as a model of chastity is inappropriate, as the acts were done without her consent. St. Maria was a child who was brutally killed by an adult who should have known better. This was not a turmoil of inner demons and sexual self-control. This was an act of violence that she had little control over.

I don't believe fighting against a rapist merits a "defense of purity" recognition. It would be the same as if a murder victim was recognized for "defending life" because they fought their killer. Does that mean those who do die are somehow participating in the sin of murder? Absolutely not. Why would we imply the same for those who suffered sexual violence?

Vatican Abuse Scandals-A Cause for Outrage or Excuse for Bigotry?

The sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church are, unfortunately, nothing new. The U.S. Catholic Church has been dealing with the aftermath and subsequent media exposure for at least the last decade. However, this year we've been finding that there's more than meets the eye. With new findings in Ireland and Germany, as well as the revelation of more cover-ups in the U.S., Catholics and non-Catholics alike are angry. At the same time, there are those arguing that the media is persecuting the Church, that the Church is doing something good, but that no one appreciates it because Catholics are society's favorite scapegoat these days. Any call for justice is met with accusations of "vengeance" and "not respecting the seal of the Confessional," while any criticism is met with accusations of anti-Catholicism or, if one is Catholic, disobedience and pride.

In all honesty, I'm surprised more Catholics are not outraged.

Main reason: Sex abuse of children is horrific. It's even more so when committed by a spiritual leader, one who is supposed to have moral authority. By itself, this crime destroys the trust of children and manipulates their desires for affection, love and attention. Adults guilty of this misuse the tendency of children to obey and look up to their elders. This crime harms a child's ability to bond with others in many ways and can impede with their ability to have healthy relationships (platonic and not) when they are of age. When committed by a spiritual leader, this can harm a child's ability to relate to God and connect to their faith. These children grow up seeing God as someone who thinks they are sinful and worthless, only to be the plaything of His representatives. How can we not react with anger?

Pro-life ethics: As Catholics, we are called to uphold the sanctity and dignity of life. This includes ensuring justice, especially for the innocent among us. If we are so horrified by abortion, horrified enough that excommunication is the automatic punishment, we must also protect children after they are born, preventing them from harm and violent crime. We have failed in this. In order to save reputations, the Church instead relocated "problematic" priests to other parishes or sent them to ineffective therapy treatments, even when the psychiatrists themselves said it was ineffective. When children are in our care, we have a sacred and moral obligation to keep them out of harm's way, before or after they are born. How are people supposed to believe that we're right on saving the preborn if we refuse to protect the born?

Punishment: Some Catholics seem to think that my advocacy for punishment and justice is a call for revenge. Not so. Forgiveness is something we must all strive for. I never once declared that these priests and those who aided them deserved to burn in Hell. At the same time, we need to send a clear message to society that this crime is not acceptable. Is it not just to remove an offending priest from priestly duties, turn him to secular authorities and forbid him contact with children? This is not about eternal condemnation or hatred. This is about keeping children safe and sending a warning to others who may be tempted to abuse their power. Punishment serves as a deterrence. Confession is great, but does not suffice for society. Society needs to see that this crime is a crime and that no one's clerical status excuses one from the consequences.

Bigotry: While I will not deny anti-Catholic prejudice in society and through the media, I feel that accusations of using someone else's trauma as an excuse for persecution are misplaced. First, it is a slap in the faith to Catholics who are truly being persecuted or murdered by their governments (China, some Middle Eastern nations, etc). Second, while journalists and outlets bring biases with them, I'd highly doubt that no Catholics are present on any of the staff and could not at least fact check. Third, how is it bigotry to admit that our leaders did something wrong? If our leaders are truly the successors of Jesus Christ and His Apostles, should we not hold them to that standard? Is it not loving to keep them accountable?

To all Catholics: Criticizing a policy is not the same as promulgating heresy. We have an obligation to protect the innocent and to keep each other accountable on the path to Heaven. This is not unforgiving, prideful, or wrathful. Instead, it conveys humility, justice, and the courage to do what is right (as opposed to what is politically convenient at the time). Dear Catholics, we make a vow at our weddings to raise our children to know Christ through His Church. Let us make their journey one that edifies and uplifts their precious souls as they mature in His name. Let us ensure that they are not abused in the Holy Name of God, for that would be our greatest scandal.

Cool Organization

I am a reader of the blog Feministing, a blogging community with six editors, two columnists, and countless posters, members, etc. They take an egalitarian, progressive stances over a whole range of issues. They not only focus on issues regarding sexism, but on how sexism relates to ageism, classism, racism, ableism, and other issues regarding inequality and unfair treatment in society. I love this community because, while I find myself dissenting on a few issues (as an ardent Catholic who subscribes to a pro-life philosophy, there are a few), there are many issues I do agree with and feel I can find common ground on. So, when I saw this website for the National Advocates of Pregnant Women, http://www.advocatesforpregnantwomen.org/, I couldn't help but take a look.

Though I take a strong anti-abortion stance, I like how NAPW (an organization that claims to want to "end the war on abortion") handles it in one of their statements, pointing out that, while women all over the U.S. disagree (sometimes vehemently) over the subject, there are other issues that we, as mothers or future mothers, will face in society. For example, the U.S. is one of very few developed nations that does not offer paid maternity leave (or parental leave, if a father or other guardian wishes to step in) when a child is born. Regardless of whether the job is high-paying or not, this means women often make the sacrifice between needed income and time to bond with their children. This dilemma also leads to infrequency of breastfeeding, a vital component to nourishment and bonding that already is neglected by greater society. In addition, women face job discrimination for pregnancy, lack of access to affordable daycare (a huge problem for single, low-income mothers), lack of access to health care and sick days, and social stigmas regarding pregnancy, especially if she is a single parent.

One problem I find with the greater pro-life movement (and I've probably repeated myself in numerous blog posts) is that it negates a lot of these issues. While organizations like Feminists for Life are at least willing to acknowledge some of these, many others seem afraid of alienating a conservative audience (which sees some possible policies as "creating a nanny State") who otherwise supports them. To compound this, many of these organizations are also Christian (whether Catholic or evangelical) and are afraid of seeming to condone behaviors such as engaging in premarital sex or degrading the family (because it will be "easier" to be a single parent, rather than get married). Because of this, many will only provide Band-Aid type solutions such as diapers, formula, a stroller, and directions to the nearest WIC office.

I'm not saying we should avoid direct service, nor am I advocating people going back on their missions. I am asking them to consider some questions: 1) What about when the baby's born? In addition to herself, a mother now has a little one to feed, clothe, take care of, and provide for, one that requires a bit more expense than a pack of diapers. 2) What about quality of life? Birth isn't enough. What about opportunities for education, job training, housing, health care? What about the choices to birth in a setting that's healthiest for both? 3) Finally, pro-lifers claim their fight is for equality of life. What about the inequality pregnant women face? What about the unfair treatment they face in their jobs, their families, incarceration, etc? By extension, what do their children face, once they are in this world?

A truly pro-life philosophy includes one of equality, one where women and men are treated no differently from the rest, due to their race, class, gender, or status as a parent in society. This does not mean "becoming soft" or "condoning bad behavior". It does mean we come together to build a stronger society, one where EVERYONE'S needs are met. Therefore, I applaud the work of organizations like NAPW, like Feministing, and like Moms Rising (an organization focusing on issues faced by working mothers) for bringing this all to light.

Finally, to all the doulas, nurses, midwives, doctors, lawyers, advocates, activists, and to mothers themselves working for equality, regardless of the diversity of all of our views, I drink to you. Keep up the good work!

Disposable Children

Two days ago, in Catholic parishes all over the world, we commemorated the Feast of the Holy Innocents. The reasons for this feast are to remember the children slaughtered by King Herod's regime, as he hunted down the Christ Child. In contemporary times, we use this feast to remember all children who've died, whether through accident, illness, stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion, or other causes. Churches will give parishioners the opportunity to light candles, in remembrance of these precious ones.

Many pro-life Catholics look at this feast in another sense. They especially remember the children slaughtered by abortion and pray for the mothers and children sorely affected by this blight on society. They use it as a time to pray for the U.S. government, that we may end this scourge through legal means. However, I've come across other issues that spread the same mentality: that children are disposable. None of these issues proclaims this more loudly than the sentencing of juvenile offenders to life without parole or to death sentences. This issue came to light as I was surfing the Net and came across a Frontline special regarding this. I then read a report put forth by Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International on the effects of such sentences on these youngsters.

It broke my heart.

It broke my heart that a country that proclaimed freedom and justice would rather let a child rot in jail than at least attempt to rehabilitate them back into society. It broke my heart that this same great nation would proclaim hypocrisy, using programs that condemn people and prove ineffective, in the name of political gain. Finally, it broke my heart that these same politicians, who proclaim that this is a "Christian nation" would go against the words of the God they believe in and treat young people as if they were disposable.

I understand that young people are capable of horrendous crimes. I believe that they, like their adult counterparts, should be punished. Yet punishment occurs with the hope that behavior will change, which means that a rehabilitation component must accompany any sentence. Also, while young people may know right and wrong, substantial studies prove that they act on impulse, without FULL comprehension of what they're doing. Furthermore, greater societal problems (poverty, illiteracy, minority status, family abuse) seriously impact those who do end up with these drastic punishments, all of which can affect the opportunities for true crime reduction. All of this points to a society where criminals regress in behavior and people are told that they are throwaways.

While these children may not be "innocent" (though there is some debate in some of these cases), the result is still the same: they are treated as if there is nothing of value to them, as if they were only meant for a dumpster. Even worse, it happens to those most neglected by society, in the same way abortion does: the poor, the non-white, the uneducated, those deemed "unimportant". The effects are devastating and the cost to society, both economically and otherwise, is astronomical. In the end, it's the same result as abortion: society's way of cleansing itself of those deemed undesirable. It's quite frightening.

Although this feast is two days past, we would do well to remember it all year round. Let's remember all of our children, innocent or not, who have been banished and forgotten by an indifferent society. Let's pray and fight for true justice to be done.

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, for Tomorrow We Die

And many did........

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/28/world/middleeast/28iran.html?_r=1

In this season, we celebrate the birth of a King who promised justice. May justice and peace come to the nation of Iran.....And may our leaders be examples of both....

May all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.....

Why I can't stand sidewalk counseling.....

Most people who know me, despite my liberal viewpoints, would know that I'm also pro-life. I was the kid in high school who wore a Rock for Life T-shirt, complete with fetus playing guitar on the front and an inflammatory message on the back. In college, I've attended my fair share of anti-abortion protests, I volunteer at a CPC (a non-coercive, non-deceptive one, I may add) and I'm planning to attend a March for Life with my friends this coming January. Yet, I have my own issues with the pro-life movement. I don't like that none of the major pro-life organizations also denounce family planning counseling and contraceptive usage. I don't like that many politicians who claim to be "pro-life" also are too willing to cut funding for SCHIP, public education, or WIC, programs that would actually help the mother and child before and after birth. Mainly, the one thing I cannot stand: Sidewalk Counseling.

Sidewalk counselors make me ashamed to admit that I am pro-life. From my own observations (not all, but a good portion) as well as video footage (everysaturdaymorning.wordpress.com), all I see are people harassing women. They surround them like vultures, armed with Bibles, rosaries and Our Lady of Guadalupe, repeating their pleas over and over again. "Don't kill your baby, it's a decision you can never take back!" "We'll take care of you!" They don't stop with speaking or shouting. They'll do everything they can to get as close as possible to the girls and women, to the point of grabbing them (something that is a violation of the law). Some of these girls look so young, younger than my sister, and frightened. Meanwhile, you have people in the background chanting Bible verses about sin, hell, and murder. It's quite the scary scene.

I do not support abortion. I don't see it as a right. I see it as a sign that we've failed. If women cannot keep a job, access health insurance, or face a world free from stigma, have we met the needs of women? If so many of our teenagers are getting pregnant, where have we failed in that regard? And if so many health issues and complications arise from pregnancy, are scientists conducting research, in order that we may be able to save two lives? These are the questions that run through my mind.

At the same time, if abortion is a right in this nation, if it is seen as a sad but necessary evil, how can you berate those girls and women for their choices? The choice to terminate a pregnancy rarely comes easy. Most women want their pregnancies to be positive experiences. Many dream of a healthy child, a little boy or girl. At the same time, if you're just barely feeding yourself, how can you take care of a kid? What if adoption is not presented well, but is used as a coercion tactic (look up Leslee Unruh)? What if you have serious medical issues, serious enough that one or both of you could die? What if you were the survivor of rape/incest? What if you could lose a scholarship? What if you could lose your job? What if your partner was abusive or neglectful? What if you were trying to figure out how to care for children you already had?

I believe we need to focus on these ills, to focus on bearing burdens and creating solutions for these larger issues. At the same time, I do not believe it wise, compassionate or a good use of faith to browbeat these women. Abortion comes with possible physical complications (as every medical procedure does) and emotional experiences that differ from woman to woman. Yes, it ends a life. No, it's not always easy. It's scary. The whole experience is scary. They know what it means to be pregnant. They've thought and prayed about their choices. Many think it won't happen to them until it does.

Is it too much for the pro-life movement to step back and have some compassion? If we're going to make any progress at all, it isn't through chasing after people on a day that's already stressful for them.