Thursday, March 5, 2009

Random Thoughts at 6:30 AM

So, I woke up early this morning, to review some last minute things for my midterms today (eek, two of them!) and I just had a few thoughts.

1. Economy: Believe it or not, I've actually been told that as a college student, I shouldn't worry about the economy. Hold the phone, my ability to finish up here (I know I could go somewhere else, but I came here for a reason and the reason was to finish!), my ability to get financial aid, my ability to either get a job or join the Peace Corps (which had funding cut), are reasons I "shouldn't worry"?  Really? I may not have full time employment but the economy is EVERYONE'S concern, not just post-college, working adults.

2. Why I could never be a politician: after reading about the stresses faced by President Truman and by Stalin during the Cold War, I know I could never do that. Hell, I freak out over exams, forget about nuclear missiles pointed in my direction!  Yay, security dilemma! (you can tell that last part was sarcasm, right?) 

3. My future: Even though I'm not premed anymore, I still dream of doing something with maternal/child health care. Actually, I just accepted a volunteer receptionist position at a pregnancy center in my area, for about 4-8 hours per week, figuring I could at least see one aspect of this, to get my foot in the door, so to speak.  That's why my chosen field is International Development, since health plays such a vital role in development and I could do something with that. I'm also training to become a doula (as soon as I get my hands on the books and talk to some doulas in my area).  I figured, in a bad economy, I might as well have some marketable skill besides waitressing, interning (when I get one) and receptionist skills and it might as well be in something I've always been interested in. We'll see where that leads.

4. Fear: I always worry about things, I'm always afraid of things. I worry about being able to pay for school next year, about finding a roommate willing to share an apartment next year, about finding an internship this summer, finding something to do after this next year and a half is over. But I'm realizing that this fear isn't necessary. Whatever happens, God is in control, I can only do as much as I can. But I feel that if I wasn't meant to be here, it wouldn't have worked out thus far. Hell, I managed to land a good job in a bad economy! I have to trust that whatever happens, it was meant to happen and that there's a reason for it. I'm finally starting to learn that.

5. International pen pals: I always wanted one as a kid. I ended up with two: a child I sponsor in Central America and a Peace Corps friend in West Africa.  One has me writing in Spanish, which is good, I can always use more, and the other is constantly reminding me of my own dreams through the fulfillment of his.  They both have some interesting things to teach me. And both are changing so much.

6. One sight of beauty: Picture the Capitol dome at sunset, illuminated by shades of pink and purple.  What a sight. I tried to get a pic on my phone, but I've got serious uploading to do before that can happen. I saw it while walking past the Senate Office Building, politicians rushing to get home, and I was filled with peace and purpose. Heh, I work on the Hill too, just not in the way people would expect. 

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