Thursday, March 26, 2009

The More You See, the Less You Know

They see her. They see her everyday. They think they know everything.

They know she's a good girl, that she wouldn't hurt anything, unless she needed to defend someone. They know she goes to Mass every week, sometimes even twice, and that she wears Jesus and Mary around her neck. They know she's a stellar student with straight A's and a brilliant mind. They know she helps out at homeless shelters, soup kitchens, and organizes campaigns for different causes. They know that she's sweet and that if you ask her for an inch, she'll give you a mile. They know she's a leader, that she steps to the plate for any task that needs to be accomplished.

What they don't know.........

They don't know that she cusses. Not little cusses either, like "crap" or "piss" but ones that would make Eminem feel ashamed. They don't know that she drinks with friends, under their caring eyes and never too much, but drinks all the same. They don't know about her loves, some of whom they'd be shocked to find out. They don't know that while she loves her faith, there is so much she disagrees with, that she's really not as traditional as others think. They don't know she's not overly conservative, she's merely innocent and slightly naive by circumstance.

They don't know that she cries at night, wishing people would see her as a person, not as the parts they'd like to see. They don't know that she feels ashamed for some of what she's done, which is why she heads to the confessional once a week (all this time, they thought, "Why is a nice girl like her doing in confession so frequently?") They don't know that, like everyone else, she wants to be loved "like that" but that is forbidden to her, as people around her feel like they have to protect her more than they can love her. They don't know that, while she tries not to seem vain, she feels she's not pretty enough for anyone. They don't know that she is inside angry. Angry at injustice, angry at her friends, angry at God, but most of all, angry at herself.

Yet she's not a hypocrite either. She would admit to all of this and more. When asked about anything, she answers unless circumstance is not appropriate. She's honest and doesn't hide. She can't anyway. Her face, at least, is honest.

They just never cared to find out.

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