Friday, December 19, 2008

Fire and Water

Love, you are like hot fire,
The flames of your love
Envelope me and surround me,
A heat that is never extinguished
A light that never burns out,
A passion that is never quenched.
Your love suffocates me
With thick black smoke
And fills my inmost being.

Love, you are like water,
Liquid from a cool glass
Striking my parched throat
And refreshing my heart,
Resurrecting my soul
From the dying dehydration
Of this world.
Your love purifies me
And makes me new.

Love, you are the hot fire,
Consuming everything I am
And you are also still water
Cooling and purifying
My very soul.


It all starts with

One bubble rises,

Behold, a frothy sea
Of excitement
As the pasta,
Stiff-necked and stubborn,
Falls into heat and relaxation.
A dance.

Smooth entanglement,
With the sighing
Of the steam.
Al Dente

Water escapes
Into the retreat
Of the sacred space
The sink.

It ends with pasta,
By warm red sauce
And chunks of meat.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


I'll never forget
The sacredness of your love,
The blessedness of your sounds,
The sanctity of your smile,
The holiness of your laughter.

Your earthy smell
Is my incense, love
Your eyes,
My crucifix to gaze upon
Your heart is a temple,
The inner sanctum
That no one sees
Not even me.

You are a flame, love,
A glorious flame
A spark
An eternal fire

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The more you see

....the less you know, the less you find out as you go. Bono knew what he was talking about when he sang these lyrics (in "City of Blinding Lights"). I find I relate to these words, especially as I move further ahead with my studies and with my life.

Last year, I knew it all (or so I thought). I was going to become a doctor, an obstetrician, who worked in the Third World. I knew where I was going to medical school, where I'd work, what I would do with the rest of my life. I was going to have my own rape crisis/crisis pregnancy center and help women empower themselves. I was going to travel, I was going to get married and have six kids (trust me, I would find a way to make it all work), I was going to do Peace Corps, Doctors without Borders, name an organization and I'd somehow end up working for it.

And then God laughed.......Hard.

While I was good at science, I got burned out by the competitiveness and wacky grading methods (there is a reason they call them "mad" scientists). I trained to work in rape crisis for a short stint and got burned out by that (worthy work, but emotionally draining, especially with some of the situations people get into). Issues of my own life that I tried to bury made themselves known to me and I had to deal with them. I had nights of tears, frustration, feelings of incompetence (I hadn't yet held down a job and no amount of studying improved my grades on tests), and days where I wanted to hit myself on the head. I'm thankful for the friends I have, because they helped me stay somewhat sane despite all of this.

And then..........

My mother and friends started asking what it was I really wanted, not what I felt like I had to do. It was weird, because I had spent the majority of my HS career and part of my college career following a plan and seeing no other options. I realized I wanted to explore my interest in Italy. I wanted a break from premed. I wanted to have a job over the summer (not try for a competitive medical internship when I hadn't even worked at a coffee shop or something beforehand). Mainly, I wanted to grow up and slow down.

I went home exhausted and feeling slightly defeated. But things happened. I got a job. I explored other interests. I started writing again. I spent time with my family. I came back to school, got a better job, and thoroughly enjoyed all of my classes. I figured out a major. I learned a lot about myself. I'm looking for internships and scholarships and at possibilities for study abroad. I'm learning how to be still. I gained a social life. I started growing up.

I have no idea what will happen with the rest of my life. I'm halfway done with school and hoping to volunteer with either the Peace Corps or a Catholic organization after college. What kind of job will I have? Will I go to grad school? Will I marry? The possibilities are endless. I could do so many things. But I'm not worried and I'm not following a cookie cutter plan anymore. Finally, I'm taking things one day at a time.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Walking in Beauty

I walk through the woods on a snowy day. The ice crackles through my boots and my hands are freezing but the day is beautiful. The sky is a clear blue, with only the faintest streaks of white. The woods themselves are a majestic fairy land, bejeweled in icicles which reflect rainbows on the dazzling ground. Lovely.

The wind rushes by me, silently, pausing with a soft kiss on my face and a cool caress through my hair. "How are you, love?" I inquire. She flows by me, pleasantly, as if to embrace me. My Catholic faith tells me that nothing of pure nature has a spirit (something reserved for God, angels and humans), but I believe she does. How else does one explain the music she makes with her silence?

The woods are in silence, as if in prayer, in contemplation of their Creator. No living thing dares to take this path except I. My presence is near sacrilege, my boots profane the pure ground with each step. My breath is impure, full of halitosis and mints, nothing compared to the fierce purity of the wind. The darkness of my hair and the colors of my clothes stain the immaculate whiteness of the land. Yet my presence is considered welcome, an honored guest in this palace of creation.

Everything is still. Even my own tracks have ceased as I too enter this celebration of beauty. I can neither sing nor dare to pray aloud, for fear of terminating this holy state. I gaze at the sky and smile. Love, You are beautiful.

I celebrate this music and join the dance.

Welcome to Caffè Firenze

My name is Katie, I will be your server tonight. Our specials are poetry, music, personal stories (heavy on the Catholicism and possibly idealism) and the recommended drink is a shot of Porto, sweeter than a class of kindergarten children yet stronger than gravity itself. This Porto is what makes our specials possible. We also offer a strong espresso, fueling the place with energy, and of course, plenty of laughter. Enjoy your meal!