I know why it is. It's my last semester of school. I've been loaded with work and I haven't felt motivated to do it(no worries, it's getting done, but it's a battle of wills. Prof always beats me). That's a combination of feeling overwhelmed and guilty. I have to move out in a week and a half. I graduate school in just over two weeks. I'm moving to a part of the country I have little experience with. I'm saying goodbye to friends. I didn't expect to get into a serious relationship but I am and I'm dealing with that, as well as a subsequent meeting of the parents. I still have to work, at a job I don't particularly enjoy, but I'm trying to be thankful for some short term employment. To put it lightly, it's a lot.
I know I don't have to deal with every single thing right this second. I know I'm just tired. I know I'm not alone. I know I'll be so relieved/happy/excited when I walk across the stage. I know my dad's not going to buy a gun and threaten my boy with, "You make her cry and I'll make you cry" (not so sure about my grandpa.......;-) And my girlfriends DID ask if they can still keep their baseball bats.....). I know I'm going to do fine in school without harm to my GPA and that it doesn't matter as much (not letting it all slide but you know). I have had several friends move around and I know people will come and go in my life as they are meant to. I know this.
Despite knowing this, that's what I'm feeling and I'm OK with that.
Now, time for P90X. Then, back to the grind until church and a subsequent Easter party. Because there ain't no party like a Catholic party and the Catholic party don't stop! :D