Our country really is barbaric........

Did you know that the average age of entry into prostitution was 13?

Did you know that, in the U.S., a child can be convicted of prostitution before they're of age to consent to sex?

Did you know that most prostitution in the U.S. is not simply that of an independent worker making a business deal, but resembles more of a domestic violence relationship?

Did you know a foreign victim of human trafficking gets more assistance than an American one?

I did. However, I just saw a documentary called Very Young Girls (find it on Netflix) which was told from the perspective of women who've lived "the life." Even the founder of GEMS, an organization that works heavily with these women, was originally a child prostitute. As someone who majored in International Relations and studied both human rights and youth rights (and who also has friends heavily involved in human trafficking issues), I was aware of the facts. It was quite different to hear about someone's experiences, about how someone

Should the guy always pay?

I run into this question a lot, especially in conservative, Catholic circles. Within these groups, people are more likely to embrace the model of man as provider, woman as nurturer. Thus, they'll hold guys to the standard of always paying. They consider it a means of courtesy and hold the idea that women should just accept it, regardless of either of their financial situations. Some of my guy friends, just friends, will always pay for a girl simply because that's how they were brought up (this one transcends faith, since one of my guy friends who does this is culturally Jewish). Naturally, if someone insists on doing something nice (provided they don't consider themselves entitled to anything else), the polite thing to do is accept it. However, what do I really think of this idea?

As many know, my conservative beliefs restrict themselves to my personal (not political) beliefs on sexuality. Outside of that, I think women and men can do just about anything and I find that traditional norms constrict us to a mode that may have worked in, well, 19th century England. However, these norms do not work in my relationship. We both entered with a mindset of mutual giving and a general belief in the equality of the sexes. Therefore, if I expect to be treated as his equal, that means I also invest in this relationship both emotionally and financially. It's also my way of doing something for him. We don't go out obsessively but we do like treating one another to dinner, a play, a movie. It's a nice gesture. It doesn't mean I damage his ego or insult his masculinity. In fact, he appreciates it and is just as willing to pick up the tab when it's his turn. If anything, it makes the burden equal and easier to manage.

I don't expect this for the same reason I don't expect, nor want, an engagement ring. To me, they are symbols of a period when women had little say in their station in life, when my father had more of a say in my choice of spouse, when my husband controlled my money, and when I would have been expected to "lay back and think of England" (how about Tuscany, instead?). I don't want a bodyguard/ATM, I want a partner, a companion, someone who takes life's journey alongside me. Someone who supports me in becoming all that I am and encourages a level of independence, simply because it benefits us. I want someone who supports me in having a career that genuinely excites and interests me and allows all of that to spill into our personal life. After all, if he loves me, does he really give a damn who makes more money? Or who pays? Considering that we've talked about this from day one, the answer is a resounding NO.

As I mentioned, I do have friends who pay for every girl, friend or not and insist, even when I offer to pick up the tab or at least pay my share. Naturally, my response is nothing other than a "thank you" because that's the only polite response. Also, in a relationship, if one of you is making bank and the other is living on peanuts, it's only fair that the person who makes more picks up the tab every time. Of course, if the guy-always-paying mode works for you, go ahead. However, there is no one-size-fits-all rule for relationships. People are different and relationships are different. Thus, the way we handle those relationships should be different as well.

Older adults, these are different times!!!

I often hear about how lazy and entitled my generation is. We grew up with access to technology and opportunities our parents didn't have

Land of the Free is now Land of the Wage Slaves

My friends shared this link on Facebook. It's called the "5 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Poor" and talks about things such as pay day loans, overdraft charges, and the prevalence of low paying service jobs with little chance for advancement. Of course, the economy has brought things into harsh perspective. However, as a recent college graduate who's been paying her rent the last two years, it hits a bit close to home.

You see, I've had to pay those outrageous overdraft fees. I have a hard time getting an apartment due to my low credit history and the unpredictability of a restaurant job (waiters rely on tips), despite the fact that my rent has been paid, on time, every month from my first summer sublet. I always need a guarantor, whether it's my father or someone else's parents to even get approved. I had a hard time getting a student credit card due to lack of credit history, even though I needed the damn thing to build credit history (and it would have helped immensely when I was stuck in London and had no money because of debit card fraud). My friends, who all have college degrees, multiple internships, language skills and significant experience overseas, are waiting tables to survive and interning unpaid (AGAIN) with the hopes of finding some kind of full time employment within their field. Other friends have had to make do with temp jobs and constantly have to be on the search. Still, others find themselves waiting tables on the weekends, in addition to full time work, due to fear of finances/getting fired the first three months.

America, are we land of the free? Or land of the wage slaves?

It's frustrating to hear people tell me to tough it out, that I'll just have to work seven days a week a little while longer.......Excuse me? SEVEN???? Wasn't there this little thing in the 10 Commandments called a fucking SABBATH?? To take a day of rest because we are NOT slaves anymore? Haven't I worked enough, writing papers on complicated economic policies while also working 25 (bare minimum) hours a week to pay my bills and send myself to Africa? Or struggling financially one summer because I did a (wonderful) unpaid internship but lost hours in my job and really had to save all my cash? Haven't I busted my ass enough? I worked hard for my degree and my reputation. In addition, my parents worked their asses off to ensure we could have something better than they did. Guess what? I'm probably WORSE off financially with more education. Case in point: my parents were married at 22. Guess who's in absolutely no position to get married, even if she wanted to?

Isn't it just a little unnerving that healthy food costs more than crap food? Or that, for some families, it would cost more money to work or go back to school than to take unemployment (transportation, baby-sitting/child care, work clothes)? Or that a good college education has become more dependent on who can pay rather than who's more capable of doing the work? Isn't it a little unnerving that contagious sick people are handling your food because their managers won't let them stay home and they can't afford health insurance necessary to get treated or provide a doctor's note? Isn't it sad that Americans spend more time at work than anywhere else, including with their children, their spouses, or doing things that would fulfill them and give to other people (hobbies such as crafts and music serving as gifts, etc)?

Don't our service members give their lives so we can enjoy freedom? Didn't our families sacrifice their homelands and, in some cases, their cultures, so that their grandkids could have something better? Don't women and people of color and other minorities especially continue to fight so that they could enjoy the same freedom, rights and privileges as their straight, white, male, wealthy, able-bodied counterparts?

We were not meant to be slaves. We were meant for freedom.

So, politicians and corporate blowhards, be afraid. When this happened in France, heads literally rolled. While I have no taste for blood, I am starting to understand why.

It's none of your business!

Anyone remember the Salt 'n' Pepa song, "None of Your Business" (am I dating myself here)? Anyway, for all the young'uns who do not remember the 90's and are doomed to the likes of Ke$ha and Miley Cyrus, the song is about how people cast judgments on someone due to their sex life and how they really shouldn't because, well, read the title. While no one is judging me for one night stands (simply because I just don't have them), I'll admit, it does feel like having a love life, period, makes others feel as if they have a right to comment. Even if their opinion was not requested, even if advice was not sought, people still act as if they have authority over very personal and intimate decisions. Yeah, it bothers me a bit.

To all the singles, the "no-strings-attached" folks, those dating, courting, engaged, married, parents, whatever, no one has the right to tell you what's best for you. Yes, if you're a person of faith, follow your faith. Yes, we all should follow basic legal codes and some kind of moral framework for how to live our lives (which include more than just our romantic lives). Of course, some of us come from cultures where the family and community has a much bigger say in your choice of spouse and in the raising of your children. At the same time, you are the one who makes the final decisions.

Even for those whose morals I do not agree with, I feel the need to defend this choice. After all, it bothers me when people constantly ask about my sex life, knowing full well what my faith teaches and how awkward it is to ask when my companion is close by. Or telling me whether I should or shouldn't think about a wedding day quite yet (can we please get on our feet first and finish some other important things? And, if we are discussing, it's none of your business unless I choose to share that with you). Of course, knowing what my faith teaches about family planning (regardless of the fact that I can use this scientifically proven method that's NOT the Rhythm Method and that actually helps me in other aspects of my health), it really hurts when people make snide comments in my direction. I would NEVER nitpick someone else's sex life, I've always been taught that it was uncouth to do so. Why is it acceptable to do the same to me?

You know, this is why, at the end of the day, I embrace a pro-choice position. How can I tell another woman, another family, what to do with such an intimate and private aspect of their lives when I know I hate it when others do the same to me? How can I tell them that they're wrong and shameful, when they've probably agonized, cried out to God, consulted others, and figured they need to do right by their families? Really, it's none of your business.

World, you have no ownership of my womb, breasts and genitalia. You certainly have no ownership of my heart. I consult with God and, while I follow Church teachings in my own life, it's only after much questioning, study and research, as well as plenty of agonizing (and note that I do not expect the same of everyone, simply because I don't walk in their shoes). Other than that, anything that happens in these very intimate aspects are not your concern unless I specifically ask for advice. If I don't, well, then, it's none of your business!

Difference Between Catholics and Christians?

Growing up in the NYC area (my definition, at most two hours away), I heard this a lot. Most of the kids I went to school with were either Catholic or Jewish and knew little about their own religions, much less those of other people. As a result, there is a lot of confusion over religions such as Islam or religious branches such as Protestantism. However, I would always be shocked to hear people differentiate between Catholics and Christians. It seemed that, whenever kids would refer to Protestant friends and relatives, they would call them Christians, while Catholic relatives were simply Catholics. As a result, there was a lot of confusion about the two. It doesn't help that some Christian groups don't even count us as Christians. What's the difference? Is there one? Let's find out.

The definition of Christianity I like the most was the one my professor gave in my religion class; that Christianity refers to the theological reflection about the person of Jesus Christ (who he was, what he did, etc, etc, slight paraphrase). Beliefs in Christianity include these next few points. One, Jesus Christ died on a cross to save us, then rose again three days later, promising to vanquish death and sin. Two, God is a triune God, meaning one God in three persons: Creator (father), Savior (Jesus), Holy Spirit. Yes, it's confusing. Most of us don't get it either. Suffice it to say math does not exist in Christian theology. Three, baptism (the act of sprinkling, pouring, or immersing in water, invoking the name of the Trinity) is a necessary act for initiation and possibly salvation (depending on who you talk to). Four overarching commandments include, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself." And finally, for most of us, our major holidays are Christmas (Jesus' birth) and Easter (Jesus' resurrection).

That's a very brief summary, but this includes all branches of Christianity. Now, what about Catholics and Protestants and the rest? They are all branches from the same tree, so to speak. Christianity can actually be divided into three main branches, the Catholics, the Protestants, and the Orthodox. Catholics place an equal weight on the authority of the Bible, the church and oral tradition and we experience God through Sacraments, actions that channel God's grace (baptism, confession, communion, etc), as well as through individual prayer. The Orthodox are actually very similar to Catholics except that we split over beliefs on papal authority (authority of the Pope) and they do have different attitudes about sin and such (sin as crime vs. sin as sickness). Protestants split much later, again over issues of papal authority, issues of corruption, and the desire to make Christianity more accessible to the masses. Note, this is a gross oversimplification of two thousand years of history. I can do more in depth blog posts if peeps are interested.

OK, now, why do some Protestants identify as strictly "Christian" while Catholics are likely to identify as Catholics? I think that has more to do with our history in the U.S. Our nation was and still is mostly Protestant so, whenever people talked about Christians, they were speaking of Protestants. Even today, when you see literature and other products marketed to Christians, they're often using Protestant translations of the Bible and Protestant theology. When Catholics first came here, we weren't considered Christians. Our depictions of the saints and our beliefs about certain rituals (Holy Communion) had other Christians thinking we were gross idolaters. Further, while American Protestants may have had prohibitions actions like consuming alcohol or dancing, Catholics did not (we'd lose all the Irish, Italians, Spaniards, etc;-)). As such, we were seen as immoral. Finally, in my area, people don't really know that much about Protestantism, so it's probably easier for our Protestant friends and family to say that they're Christian, just not Catholic. Why no mention of the Orthodox? There just aren't that many of them, except in areas with huge Greek/Middle Eastern(Christian)/Eastern European Christian populations.

Sorry for the long length! Just thought I should cover this :D

Part 2: Where do you want to go...and why?

As part of my "So You Want a Career in Travel" series, I decided to include a section on motivation. What drives you to travel? Do you want to simply see the world? See the world and write a book, a la Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat, Pray, Love fame)? Feed hungry kids? Save the environment? Spread the word of God via the Bible/Qur'an/Book of Mormon/any other text of a missionary faith? Sell products? Advocate for human rights? Tackle organized crime (drug trafficking, sex trade, etc)? Join the military and defend the interests of the U.S.? Enter the Foreign Service and practice diplomacy? Perform and give concert tours? Why?

Also, where do you want to go? Do you see yourself in mostly "developed" countries, such as the U.S., Western Europe, Australia, or Japan? Or do you see yourself spending copious amounts of time in other parts of Asia, Latin America, the Middle East, the Pacific or Africa (some of which qualify as "middle income" countries, other which are known as "low income" countries? Or do you see yourself doing a mix of everything?

Granted, a lot of the motivations can also apply to one's home country and I'm not labeling any of them as positive or negative (they all can have either positive or negative impacts on the nations you visit). Also, the motivations and desired places can intersect, depending on one's interests and language skills. I'll admit, I want to see as many places as I can and, while my language of choice through school was mostly Spanish (with some Italian and Kiswahili), I still ended up in Kenya. But I digress (and will elaborate on my choices in later posts). All the same, it helps to know what drives your desire, regardless of what or how many reasons you have. Traveling is a commitment of time, energy and money. Knowing what drives you may help you decide what tasks you're up for or even if you're up for the task to begin with.