Thursday, November 4, 2010

If I Don't Like You

This is not meant to be a hostile post. Rather, I've found more than a few things that irritate me. What irritates me most, however, is when other people make it clear that they would not associate with you yet, at the same time, will pretend you're their best friend when they see you. Like, they'll be overly nice to you in public yet either treat you like scum in private or talk to you in a condescending yet saccharine manner no matter whether you're in public or private. On the other hand, should you call them out on it, they will deny it (even if it's obvious, which does little more than insult your intelligence) or throw a fit when you respond to their overtures with markedly less enthusiasm.

Let me preface this by saying that I don't believe in hating people. However, I also finally acknowledge that I'm not going to mesh well with certain people and that I may not come to like them. Now, I don't believe in ardently praying for their death but I also believe in being honest with yourself about feelings you may have for other people.

Thus, if I don't like you, the following goes.

If I don't like you, I'm not going to respond to you with more than politeness. I'm not going to say I'm happy to see you when I'm not. I'm not going to open up about my life to you because I don't trust what you'll do with it. I'm not going to invite you on outings, drink with you or shower you with affection. If I found you dying or cold on the streets, I would do what I could to save your life and, if you were hungry, I would feed you. That does not mean that we are going to love each other forever. If you are in authority over me, I will treat you with respect but I won't go out of my way to suck up to you. I still have my dignity.

I understand people wish to be civil and I do believe in that. I also will acknowledge that I am not perfect and certainly have no right to claim moral high ground. At the same time, I really don't like this attitude of pretense to avoid humiliation. I don't like the idea of refusing to stand up to people simply because we're afraid of not making waves. I think it prevents us from being honest and true and I find that idea very depressing.

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