Monday, August 3, 2009

Destiny

I'm twenty years old. Twenty. Out of my teens. Two years of legal adulthood under my belt, but one year shy of legal drinking age. Five years till I get lower car insurance rates. Twenty, with two years of college down, one and a half to go, a lease with my name on it, first baby steps into career world via an internship that is soon to end, and a life that could not be more crazy but wonderful than it is right now. What does this all mean?

I've been able to do a lot, accomplish quite a bit and experience a ton of events and emotions, painful, joyful, tough, sweet, quiet, loud, but every moment no more or less beautiful than the one that had just passed. I've regained faith in my God, a new found respect for my government, and an awe and amazement at the potential of people to be indescribably good.

I never thought I'd get to see my President as close as the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Or give Communion at the Pope's Mass. Or get, not one, but two, TWO opportunities to see my favorite band of all time. Or lobby my Congressman and have him support what I wanted (and find out from his office that he did end up supporting it). Or see something as beautiful as giant roses in the nation's capital (yes, the Cathedral, Memorial Day). Or experience non-profit work in all of its facets, from the exciting to banal). Or even go to Medieval Times, random! I never thought I'd be lucky enough to be a part of all that.

Where do I go after I finish? Will I still be in the city I love so much, the city that brought me from the last vestiges of my childhood to the first steps of womanhood? Or am I meant for something else? The Mediterranean? Central America? Two regions of the world I constantly talk about, study, read about in the news, and learn the languages of? Or somewhere else in the U.S. or in the world that needs me? Will I join the Peace Corps? A Catholic program? Get a job at a non-profit? Still wait tables as I wait for what's right? Go to midwife school? Where am I going? What was I meant for? It may be the start of my life......I just want to start right......

It's been a crazy whirlwind so far. Breathless, lovely, ugly, painful, joyful, with tears and laughter, prayers and curses, people who broke my heart and people who sparked it and brought it to life. People who've touched my life deeply and people who've hurt me hard. Moments that made me smile and moments that had me hiding behind a cup of coffee and a pillow. I'm blessed to have had the life I've had so far. And I'm not afraid of my destiny. Just curious to see what's behind the blind curve....:)

In moments of pain and moments of joy, God is good and life has never felt so right.

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